Chapter 4: I Can Hear Your Voice
At school on a day off
The new school term started, and about two weeks have passed.
I became a second-year student, gained juniors, changed classes, and my studies got harder… A lot of changes have happened, but I haven’t changed much.
The people I usually spend time with and how I spend my days off are almost the same as before.
If anything has changed, it’s probably just that spending time with Rurina has been added to my routine.
“Well, being alone every once in a while might not be so bad,” I muttered.
Today’s a day off, but I didn’t have any particular plans, so I was alone.
That’s why, like always, I came to school to study.
For the past few days off, Rurina had been coming over to my house, so being alone in the classroom felt fresh and nostalgic in a way.
When I strained my ears, the only sounds I could hear were the voices of the sports teams practicing outside. Inside the classroom, the faint sound of my pencil scratching against the paper echoed quietly as I worked on problems.
“Phew. I think I’ll really be able to focus today—”
“Since no one’s here today, I’ll take this chance to do some scouting! To avoid things getting too monotonous, variety is key!” (Sakura)
“—Or maybe not,” I sighed as I heard a voice echoing down the hallway.
…Why did she have to come for staging practice today of all days?
Her inner voice is as loud as ever.
It’s practically reverberating…
Well, I might as well brace myself while continuing my studies.
As I thought that, I kept an ear on the voice drawing closer and resumed my work.
From outside the classroom, I heard an “Oh?” followed by sudden silence.
But soon after—
(The light’s on… which means it’s either Kaburagi-san or Suzune-chan? I should confirm just to be sure…)
That inner voice came through again, and then her head peeked through the door.
She was probably trying to confirm who was inside by sneaking a look.
…It’s kind of cute how she thinks she’s being stealthy like that.
(Heh heh heh. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I’ll sneak up from behind in the classroom and go for the ultimate surprise—my “Guess who?” attack! Alright, here we go… nice and slow…)
Hearing her amusing thoughts, I walked up behind her and spoke.
“Yo, Hinamori.”
“NYA!?!”
Startled, Hinamori let out a cat-like yelp and jumped, landing on her backside in the process.
Her skirt flipped up, and she hastily pushed it down with her hands.
Blushing furiously, she lowered her gaze in embarrassment and asked, “…Did you see?”
I tilted my head.
“See what?”
“…Look me in the eyes. You saw, didn’t you…?”
“Beautiful weather today, huh? My eyes are only fixed on the sky outside.”
“That’s a lie… I saw your gaze shift earlier.”
“Well, the sky is blue.”
“You definitely saw! (Ahhh… for a young lady to expose her underwear before marriage—wait, could this actually work to my advantage? If I make him more conscious of me, it might not be so bad after all. Sacrifice the flesh to strike the bone… this might be a good tactic.)”
I admire her "never go down without a fight" spirit, but this time, it’s my fault for scaring her.
So, I clasped my hands in front of my face, gesturing an apology.
Hinamori, with an annoyed expression, muttered, "I’ll let this one slide."
"Sorry for surprising you. Here, take my hand. Can you stand?"
"…Thank you. That’s kind of you. (But at times like this… don’t act unnecessarily gentlemanly.)"
"I’m a gentleman, after all."
"No, you’re a perverted gentleman."
Hinamori took my hand, stood up, and dusted off her skirt.
She then walked into the classroom, sat down in the seat next to where I had been sitting earlier, and gestured for me to come over.
"Still, it’s rare for you to be at school on a day off, Hinamori. Is it for student council work?"
"Something like that. April is a busy month, you know."
"Good work."
"Not at all. It’s a piece of cake for me. (…The ball games festival, the overnight learning trip… I need to create the programs, get prior approvals… Oh, and there’s the cultural festival too…)"
Her expression exuded confidence, but her thoughts were filled with an overwhelming list of tasks.
It doesn’t seem like an easy situation by any stretch.
…Hinamori prides herself on being a "perfect human," so she tries to handle everything on her own.
I respect her hardworking nature, but she hates it when others directly lend her a hand.
She always says, "This is my responsibility."
If it’s an unavoidable situation like the reception at the entrance ceremony, she’ll ask for help, but most of the time, she just pushes herself too hard.
…Though, I’m not really one to talk.
"If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know."
"Hehe. I appreciate your concern, but I think I’ll be fine."
"Got it."
I replied without prying further.
I know it’s pointless to say more, and as usual, she’ll just do things her way.
As I was thinking that, Hinamori started glancing around the room.
"Something wrong?"
"It’s not a big deal, but you’re not with Kurusu-san today?"
"We’re not always together, you know. Though, it’s true we often study together."
"Studying… Yes, I can definitely picture that."
"Right? It’s the same study group you joined before."
"I see. So, you were borrowing the multipurpose room for that… Hmm, I understand now. (…So they were having secret rendezvous? Then, the lunchboxes must’ve been Kurusu-san’s too… Aha! It all makes sense now!)"
Seeing her grinning smugly, I let out a sigh.
The part about the lunchboxes is true, but the rest is completely off.
If I don’t clear up this misunderstanding, it’s going to be a hassle.
“Hinamori is definitely misunderstanding, isn’t she? I was just—”
“No need to say any more. I understand perfectly,” she cut me off.
“No, that’s not—”
“No need to say more.”
She raised a hand to my mouth, as if to silence me, wearing an expression of absolute conviction.
It seems she has no intention of admitting her misunderstanding.
Well, it feels like she’s teasing me a little, too.
“I was practicing conversation with Kurusu. She seemed to be having a hard time since transferring, right?”
“Ah, so that’s what it was. Still, you could’ve told me. How cold of you~. You should’ve relied on me.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll count on you from now on, okay?”
“Hehe, leave it to me! But, with that explanation, I’ve figured it all out now. It’s only natural that Kurusu-san has grown attached to you. No wonder there’s such a big difference in how she feels about you and me.”
“It’s not a difference, though. You know, they say small animals are sensitive to malice. Maybe she instinctively senses something about you and stays on guard.”
“Hmph. Kurusu-san does have that small-animal kind of cuteness, doesn’t she… Wait, are you saying that with a hint of sarcasm? (Hmm, I feel like I need to sit down and have a serious talk with Kaburagi-san.)”
“It’s all sarcasm.”
When I said that, Hinamori puffed out her cheeks and gave me a silent, pouty glare.
It was undeniably adorable, but at the same time, her silent pressure was strangely overwhelming. All I could do was laugh awkwardly to smooth things over.
“Hmph. Enjoy this little moment of composure while you can, Kaburagi-san.”
“Oh? Should I be worried?”
“Maybe not to your level, but I’ve gotten pretty close to Kurusu-san too, you know. She asks me about all sorts of things. She’s such a cutie~. (Ever since that incident with the ‘god,’ she’s been asking me about so much. And the way she looks at me with those admiring eyes… Huff, huff… It’s kind of addictive.)”
This… This is getting a bit unsettling. I’m starting to think I should put some distance between them.
Hearing her inner voice is creeping me out.
But I also want Rurina to make more friends she can talk to. It’s a tricky situation.
“...Don’t teach her anything weird, okay?”
“Don’t worry! I won’t make the same mistake twice. I’ll make sure Kurusu-san grows to admire me as much as she does you!”
“Admire you, huh… But honestly, what could she learn from you?”
“Well, let’s see… She often asks about manners and poise. Things like feminine gestures and grace. I have to say, she has good taste for choosing me as her role model. (Of course, there are also questions about actions men appreciate or other interpersonal skills… But there’s no need to mention that. If Kurusu-san learns any of those little devil-like tactics… Heh, heh, heh… I can’t wait to see Kaburagi-san’s shocked face.)”
“Haha, I guess you are the right person for that.”
Seriously, though. It sounds like she’s teaching Kurusu some questionable stuff.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being mindful of how others perceive you—it’s useful for getting through life smoothly.
But just in case, if Kurusu starts acting strangely, I’ll make sure to step in and set things straight.
As I was lost in thought, Hinamori kept staring at me, as if waiting for something.
"Hm? What's up?"
"Aren't you going to retort? Like, 'You're picking the wrong person!'"
"Nah. When it comes to social skills that leave a good impression, you're the best choice, Hinamori."
"Kaburagi-san would be more than enough, I think."
"I can't manage proper distance or psychological persuasion like you can, Hinamori. Deciphering someone's mood from their expressions or gestures? Totally impossible for me."
"Is that so? It seems like you're doing just fine to me."
Hinamori tilted her head, looking unconvinced.
Well, to Hinamori, I probably seem like I'm managing just fine.
But the truth is, in my case, I only act based on the "inner voice" I hear and make decisions accordingly. It’s not like I’m particularly observant like Hinamori.
I don’t have any deep psychological knowledge—I'm just cheating by knowing the answers beforehand.
It's not even a method worth calling one.
The best I can do for Kurusu is to present examples of possible responses.
If I couldn’t hear the voices, I’d be helpless and full of doubts.
On the other hand, Hinamori’s skills come from closely observing people and developing them over time.
The difference between us is—night and day.
"Kaburagi-san, you’re really good at giving genuine compliments. You’re great at it."
"I’m just stating facts as they are."
"…Are you trying to raise my opinion of you and flirt with me?"
"I wouldn’t do that—I already have a girlfriend."
"Well, that’s true. I appreciate how serious you are about that. (…Though, it would be boring if you gave in too easily. It’d take the challenge out of it.)"
"Thanks."
(…They look like they’re having fun. Is it okay if I join in?)
Right as I said that to Hinamori, a beautiful voice called out from the classroom doorway.
I couldn’t see the person, but judging by the voice, it had to be Rurina.
If I left her waiting while she tried to "find the right moment," she’d probably stay there forever, so I decided to go call her in.
I stood up and walked over to the entrance.
Sure enough, Rurina was there, looking surprised when she saw me.
"…Rurina, want to join us for some studying?"
When I asked, her face lit up with a radiant smile, and she stepped into the classroom.
I hoped that smile would stay, but as soon as she noticed Hinamori, her expression turned stiff.
[Hello. Excuse me for intruding.] (…Greet them properly. And smile…)
She bowed politely, but her face was tense.
She was sort of smiling, but calling it that felt like a stretch—it was incredibly awkward.
"Kurusu-san, hello. Let’s study together. (…Hehe, I’ve already taught her some study techniques. I wonder how Kaburagi-san will react.)"
[I’ll do my best.] (Oh, right. Hinamori-san’s advice… Maybe I should try it out a little.)
"…It’s just studying, okay?"
[Of course. I brought math today.] (There was something I wanted to ask Ritsu about, so I’m glad I came… hehe.)
"…Alright. Let me know if you need anything."
Suppressing the urge to crumble at the cuteness of the inner voice I heard, I managed to keep a straight face and spoke.
Rurina nodded, then sat down beside me on my right, scooting her seat closer with a bright smile.
Thanks to all her practice, she could now show me a perfectly fine expression—at least on the surface.
It was progress, sure, but the fact that it wasn’t just her voice piercing my heart anymore… well, that made things a bit tough.
In a lot of ways…
As I wrestled with my emotions, Rurina diligently laid out her study materials.
But partway through, she accidentally dropped her pencil case, scattering stationery across the floor.
(Ah… I dropped it. I got carried away and…)
"Hehe, I’ll pick this up. You two go ahead and focus over there."
[Thank you, Hinamori-san.]
"No problem. Do your best, Kurusu-san. (Such subtle setups. You’re quite the tactician, aren’t you?)"
(…Hinamori-san just winked… Is this the ‘strategy’ she mentioned before? Okay, let’s give it a try…)
…Yeah, I can hear you. What’s this about a strategy?
I turned my gaze to Hinamori, who was stealing glances at us while picking up the scattered items.
(Go for it, Kurusu-san! Stretch your hand out—it’s your chance! This is the ‘Reach for the Eraser and Touch Hands—Is This Fate? Strategy.’ Plus, with the angle of looking up at the guy, it’s a perfect setup!)
Hearing Hinamori’s typical inner monologue, I let out a sigh in my mind.
As expected, she’s been teaching weird things…
Still, I couldn’t bring myself to dismiss Rurina’s earnest attempt to apply what she’d learned.
I’d go along with her actions, and if it got too strange, I’d step in and say something.
Rurina’s first attempts were often clumsy, so there wasn’t much to worry about.
With that in mind, I played along and reached out to pick up the eraser.
As expected, Rurina seemed to be recalling Hinamori’s “strategy,” and I kept hearing it replaying in her thoughts.
Just as planned, our hands overlapped—and Rurina’s face turned beet red.
"…S-Sorry."
Her reaction wasn’t what I’d expected, and I stumbled over my words.
Rurina shook her head at my apology, then looked at our overlapping hands with a smile that practically radiated happiness.
…What is this? How is she this cute…?
I felt myself getting flustered, my heart pounding harder and faster as if it were betraying me.
And then, to top it off—
(Thinking about what Hinamori-san said… it’s embarrassing. But… Ritsu’s hand is so big… and warm…)
Hearing her inner voice, I could only sit there in silence.
Across the desk, Hinamori, who had been watching the whole exchange, exclaimed,
"What is this creature…? Isn’t she just too adorable?"
She completely dropped her usual composed act, clearly smitten by Rurina’s gestures.
"..."
The atmosphere grew awkward as silence settled over us.
It was a sweet moment, sure, but it felt surreal—with a boy and girl holding hands, and a girl watching and squirming in adoration at the scene.
Caught in the mildly chaotic situation, my thoughts struggled to keep up with what was happening.
"Uh… is this one of those awkward love triangle moments?"
A detached voice jolted me back to reality.
Standing over us, Kirisaki looked even more disinterested than usual, gazing down with an icy expression.
"It’s not like that, okay? This is just a minor mishap."
"Oh, really? Is that so…"
"Don’t look at me like I’ve ‘finally done it’ or something! There’s absolutely nothing like that happening here!"
"Hmm? Well, sneaking around with a girl during a quiet time on a Sunday would raise suspicions for anyone."
"…Okay, fair point."
I quickly pulled my hand away from Rurina, who looked at me with a hint of regret.
But once she noticed Kirisaki’s presence, she seemed to calm down like me and started writing on her tablet.
[Hello, Suzune.] (It’s lively today; I’m happy.)
"Yeah, you seem cheerful as always. Are you studying now?"
[Ritsu is teaching me math.]
"Ritsu’s good at math, isn’t he?"
Kirisaki tilted her head, looking puzzled.
"Hey, Suzune-chan. Bit of a late entrance today, huh?"
"Yeah, I had some things to take care of. Mind if I sit next to Rurina?"
[Of course, go ahead.]
"Maybe I’ll study math too! (Wait… Kurusu-san, you don’t call anyone else by their last name, do you? Why does it feel like there’s some distance between us?!)"
[Ritsu, let’s get started.]
"Okay. Let’s begin with the basics… Kirisaki? Why are you staring at me like that?"
"It’s nothing… don’t worry about it."
Despite her words, Kirisaki’s expression seemed troubled. However, when Rurina wrote [Suzune, let’s work together] and addressed her, she quickly returned to her usual composed demeanor.
"Um, Kurusu-san? What do you think… about calling me by my first name too?"
[No.] (…I think it’s too soon to be on a first-name basis. I heard it’s important not to be too casual.)
"A firm rejection?! Then how about I call you by your first name instead…?"
[That’s also a no.] (…I don’t want to make things awkward. I want you to get to know me better and become friends first.)
"Wh-why… the rejection hurts so much! Are you saying you don’t want to talk to me at all?!"
[I want to talk a lot.] (…Hinamori-san is funny and beautiful… someone I aspire to be like.)
"A-and now you’re being sweet?! (What’s with this mix of stick and carrot tactics?! My emotions can’t keep up! But I’m not that easy, you know!!) "
Watching the two of them engage in this somewhat off-kilter exchange, I couldn’t help but chuckle.
Spending a Sunday at school like this… wasn’t so bad after all.
Love talk and bento.
"I think we need to work on improving our femininity."
── Lunchtime.
We were having a little hanami picnic at a spot where we could see the cherry blossoms, which had just started to fall.
Although the sight of leaves peeking through the petals had slightly diminished the full charm of the cherry blossoms, the leisurely spring atmosphere was still intact, and we were enjoying it. But then, Hinamori suddenly brought up such a topic.
"Hinamori, you say 'we,' but I’m a guy, you know?"
"That’s not a problem. Kaburagi-san, I’d like you to share your opinion as the representative of men."
"…I just wanted to eat my lunch in peace."
"You might as well give up. Rurina and Kurumi seem pretty into it."
"You’ve got to be kidding me…"
The only ones sharing wry smiles were me and Kirisaki, while Rurina and Matsui clapped their hands in excitement.
If we did a vote, I’d lose… so I guess I have no choice but to go along with it.
With a resigned sigh, I opened up my bento. Starting with the side dishes…
"Oh, I forgot my chopsticks."
The moment I muttered this under my breath, a pair of chopsticks was silently placed in front of me.
[Here you go.] (…I’m glad I brought extras.)
"Thanks. You’re really prepared, huh?"
[I’ve also got these for wiping your hands.]
"Even wet wipes? You’re a little too prepared."
[Better safe than sorry.]
"Yeah, I mean, you’re right… You saved me. Thanks."
[I even brought an extra bento.] (…And I have drinks ready too…)
"Isn’t that going way too far!?"
[Am I amazing?] (Will you praise me?)
I glanced at her bag, and it really did seem like there was an extra bento in there. And drinks, too… Her level of preparation was honestly a bit overwhelming.
The person in question, meanwhile, was staring intently at my face, tilting her head slightly as if expecting something.
"You’re amazing. But make sure you don’t overdo it—it’s heavy to carry all that."
[It’s no problem.] (It was worth the effort.)
While we were having this exchange, the other three seemed taken aback, watching us in stunned silence. Only Matsui broke out into a sly grin.
"You two are in perfect sync, huh? Ku-chan, you’re so thoughtful~."
[I have enough for everyone.] (…I always end up making too much.)
"Seriously!?!? I really want to eat some~!"
Matsui leaned forward eagerly, staring at the bento with hungry eyes.
It seems Rurina and Matsui have started chatting more without me realizing. Well, given Matsui’s social skills, it’s not surprising they’d get along.
And honestly, during lunch like this, Rurina often shares her bento. I’ve seen it happen a lot.
To be fair, I do think they’re mooching a bit too much… but since Rurina doesn’t seem to mind and I’m guilty of accepting her generosity too, I’m not in a position to tell them to stop.
[Here you go.] (…Today’s is one I’m confident in. I brought it because I wanted Ritsu to try it.)
"Ku-chan bentos always look so delicious. Can I eat now??"
Rurina pointed at the tamagoyaki, giving a slightly awkward smile.
Seeing this, Matsui’s eyes lit up with excitement as she opened her mouth.
Even though she could eat it herself, she seemed to want Rurina to feed her.
"Mmmph!! This is so good!!"
[Chew properly.]
"Swallow… ahhh, so tasty. Umm… eheh~ could I maybe have another one~?"
[There’s plenty.]
"Really!?!? Yayyyyy!!"
"Rurina, don’t feed her too much, or she’ll just gain weight. Kurumi, you’re always eating."
"It’s fine! I’m the type who doesn’t get fat. Eating a lot of the food you love makes you happy, doesn’t it?"
[Eating what you love is happiness.] (…And eating with everyone makes it even happier.)
"I’m gonna keep eating~!" (Kurumi)
[Eat as much as you’d like.] (…It makes me happy to see you enjoying it so much.)
"…Hahaha. There are people like that, huh… (Ugh… I track everything I eat every day and watch my intake carefully… I’m so jealous.)" (Sakura)
[I made low-calorie tofu burgers.] (…I tried to make them delicious while keeping them light.)
Hinamori reluctantly took a bite of the offered food. As she muttered, "It’s tasty," she cast a regretful glance at Rurina.
I patted Hinamori’s shoulder and gave her a grin.
"This is what we call joshi-ryoku, Hinamori." (T/N: Joshi-ryoku – Girls Power)
"I-I can cook too, you know…! (Ugh… this pure, uncalculated thoughtfulness and earnest behavior are damaging my pride…!)"
"Don’t let it get you down."
"Could you stop looking at me with pity!?"
Maybe I teased her a little too much—Hinamori was on the verge of tears, her cheeks puffed out in frustration.
But after clearing her throat, she quickly switched back to her usual composed expression.
…Her ability to recover that fast is honestly something I respect.
"But it really is delicious. It definitely feels like ‘Kaburagi-san’s teaching’ shines through."
"Rikkun’s your cooking teacher~?"
"Pretty much. She said she wanted to learn, so I taught her. But all the effort was her own, so she deserves the credit."
[I worked hard.]
"Exactly! I honestly think it’s amazing. (To memorize Kaburagi-san’s overly meticulous recipes and make them every morning… That’s impressive. …But I can’t just sit here admiring her; I need to put in the effort too!)"
[Thank you, Hinamori-san.] (…I hope we can get closer and become friends.)
"Oh, no need to thank me. I was just stating the truth. (Ugh. She still won’t call me by my name… Even if she’s not opening up to me now, I won’t give up. Someday, I’ll make her call me by my name! This is now a battle to see who calls whose name first!)"
Hinamori kept her calm expression, but the slight twitch at the corner of her mouth betrayed her determination.
She’s plenty fired up, and while that’s fine, as someone who can read the situation, I find their subtle miscommunication amusing.
It’s not like Rurina doesn’t want to be friends with her. She’s just being careful and trying not to come across as overly familiar.
However, this mismatch was likely a frustrating outcome for Hinamori.
When Hinamori approaches and starts talking to someone, most people naturally open up to her.
As I watched the subtle disconnect between the two, Kirisaki, who had come to sit beside me, leaned in and whispered in my ear.
"Hey, Ritsu, when did you teach her?"
"After school. Helping people in need is kind of my thing."
"Ah, I see. But, you should be careful not to get too involved. It’s great to become friends, but if she finds out you have a girlfriend, she might get hurt. I think she’s a bit sensitive in some ways."
"Kirisaki, you’ve got a sharp eye. Thanks for the concern."
When I said that, Kirisaki gave me an exasperated look and let out a deep sigh.
"Sighhh. Here I am worrying about you."
"I’ve already talked about it, so it’s not a problem."
"Wait… so Rurina knows?"
"Yeah. That’s why we’re just becoming good friends now."
"…I see. Well, that’s fine then."
"For now, yeah. But she still feels like someone who needs a bit of watching over, so I’ll be careful."
"Good. Make sure you do."
Kirisaki replied curtly, but for a moment, her face showed an expression that seemed to want to say more.
Curious, I focused on listening, but coming from someone as reserved as Kirisaki, her thoughts didn’t come through clearly.
Still, faintly, I caught a self-deprecating murmur: "What am I even doing, really?"
"Kirisaki, are you—"
"Since we’re in such a lovely sakura setting, why don’t we talk about romance!?"
Just as I was about to ask Kirisaki if something was bothering her, Hinamori interrupted.
…How much does she love romance talk?
I let out a small chuckle and glanced at Kirisaki.
The exasperated look on her face had returned, but that earlier expression of hers was gone.
"I don’t want to, though… Why do you want to talk about it?"
"Experience is power. By listening to others, we can avoid making the same mistakes. Plus, with Kaburagi-san here, we can get a male perspective, and I’m sure Kurumi-san would like to hear, too, wouldn’t you?"
"I’m interested. (Everyone probably knows so much more than I do. I lack experience…)"
"Then it’s settled!"
"…Don’t decide without asking me first. Also, you’ve already grilled me about this before. I’m going to run out of things to say."
"The group is different this time, so it’s fine! Besides, no matter how many times we talk about it, it never gets old. This kind of banter is the essence of youth! And youth is synonymous with romance! (Heh-heh-heh… Time to gather more data from everyone. Information is key to navigating things smoothly.)"
She started speaking passionately, his eyes sparkling.
As always, I could sense her unwavering focus on her own survival deep down.
It was hard to deny that the change in topic made me miss my chance to ask Kirisaki about it...
Well, I'll make sure to ask her properly later. If she's in trouble, I want to help.
"If we're talking about romance, wouldn't Sakura be the one with the most stories? You were confessed to the other day, right?" (Suzune)
"That's true. However, I turned them down this time as well."
"That's because Hinacchi doesn't like boys, right?"
[Likes girls?]
"Hold on, that's a misleading way to put it."
[Likes boys?]
"I would like to say yes to that, but if I answer Kurusu-san's question, it feels like it'll be massively misunderstood, so I'll remain silent."
[I see]. (...Romance is varied. Preferences are varied too. Got it.)
Rurina nodded and wrote, [Likes something she can't say] in her notebook.
Hinamori didn't seem to notice that she was already being misunderstood and started talking about what Matsui had mentioned earlier.
"It's just that I'm not comfortable with the lecherous stares of men."
[Lecherous?] (Like scary looks?)
"That's right. To put it vaguely, it's like you can see their thoughts of 'if only...' shining through, and I hate that."
["If only"?]
"Oh, geez. Suzune-chan, help me out here~! This is so hard to explain~!"
"Don't rely on me so easily!"
Frustrated that no one was giving her an answer, Rurina turned her gaze toward me.
...She looks like she really wants me to say something.
But, honestly, it's hard for me to comment on this too...
Just as I was struggling, Kirisaki, sitting beside me, shrugged as if to say "it can't be helped" and said:
"High school boys are basically just walking bundles of lust. It's like their desires are spilling out everywhere. So, Rurina, you should be careful too."
She didn't hold back and answered straightforwardly.
Rurina blushed slightly and nodded.
...As expected of Kirisaki. Bold and unflinching.
"Yeah, that kind of thing is seriously unpleasant. There are people who let 'I want a girlfriend' take over and keep confessing to one girl after another." (Sakura)
"Oh, I've seen that before. It seems so fickle, it makes them look untrustworthy and unappealing." (Kurumi)
"People like that seem prone to cheating too... Do they think we wouldn't notice their ulterior motives?" (Sakura)
"Like when their gaze shifts downward from your face—so obvious. You can totally tell where they're looking." (Suzune)
"Exactly. It's gross." (Sakura)
"Yeah, I hate it too." (Kurumi)
"........."
I couldn't say a word.
Ladies, have you forgotten that there's a guy sitting right here?
From my perspective, this conversation is excruciatingly uncomfortable.
That said, if I may offer an excuse from the male side, it's almost instinctual for our gazes to wander.
It's something we unconsciously get drawn into... Yeah, it's 100% just an excuse.
I'll make sure to be more mindful from now on...
"I've never heard Kurusu-san talk about these kinds of things." (Sakura)
[Ask me anything] (though I wonder if I can answer...)
"Do you have any thoughts on romance? Like an ideal relationship or something?" (Sakura)
Hinamori directed a question toward Rurina, who had been mostly playing the role of the listener.
Romance, huh? I've never asked her about it before, but I have a feeling her views lean in a completely unexpected direction.
Still, it’s intriguing.
Rurina hesitated for a moment, then wrote on her tablet and showed it to us.
[Friends → Close friends → Best friends → Not quite lovers → Lovers]
(…Everything is about building a solid foundation.)
"What kind of step-by-step process is that!?" (Sakura)
[Everything should be done carefully.]
"I think that's too careful... (It doesn't seem like you'd ever make it to being lovers. Unless… you're deliberately dragging it out? If so, that's quite the strategy... impressive.)"
Hinamori looked genuinely impressed, while Rurina tilted her head, looking puzzled.
She was completely serious about it. Though, yeah, that process does seem a bit overly drawn out.
Also, I have no idea how she defines "best friends."
Hinamori then turned to me next.
"And what about you, Kaburagi-san?"
"I think building a foundation is important too. One person, one love."
"Alright, alright. No need for your lovey-dovey talk."
"Geez. Then why even ask?"
Despite being included as part of the "male perspective," my input was brushed aside so quickly.
Come on now, that's just too little interest.
I even came up with potential answers in case I was asked!
"Okay, last up, let’s hear from Suzune-chan."
"I don’t really have much to say about it right now."
"Hmm... is that the reaction of someone nursing a broken heart?"
"I’ll let you imagine whatever you want."
"Come on, tell us! (There's definitely something here, isn’t there? Back in middle school, Kaburagi-san and Suzuon were... maybe he knows something. Heh heh. I’ve got to get some info out of him.)"
"N-O."
Hinamori shook Kirisaki’s shoulders, trying to get her to answer somehow.
I understand your curiosity, but... you should probably stop there.
Just as I was about to intervene, Matsui, who had been eating her bento, suddenly jumped into Kirisaki's arms, interrupting the conversation.
"Boom! Hey, hey~ It’s gym class next, so let’s go get ready!"
"Hey... don’t cling to me so much."
"But I just like how comfy Kiri-nee is~!"
"........."
Suppressing the urge to keep watching the scene in front of me, I looked away.
Not because I was intimidated by the sharp, piercing glare Kirisaki shot in my direction. Not at all.
"…Kurumi. Can we talk over there for a bit?"
"Fweh!? Kiri-nee, your face is scary!?!? Super scary, like a demon!"
"…You’re right. Maybe I am a demon."
What followed was the sorrowful scream of Matsui: "Miiigyaaahhh!"
Yep, yep. Today seems perfectly peaceful as always.
I can hear your voice.
On the weekend, I was unusually walking to school alone.
Normally, I'd be chatting with Kirisaki, but she wasn’t here today.
Well, it’s not like we’ve arranged to meet or anything, so there’s no reason to be concerned. Still, when something that’s become a habit disappears, it leaves you with a somewhat gloomy feeling.
I arrived in front of the staff room earlier than usual, just as the door opened and our homeroom teacher stepped out.
"Good morning, Sensei."
"Oh, Kaburagi. Perfect timing. (Kaburagi-sama, savior in times of trouble!)"
"Is something wrong?"
Called to a stop by the teacher, I paused.
Wait, Kaburagi-sama...?
I mean, I know they treat me like the go-to guy for everything, but still.
I put on a polite smile and faced the teacher.
"You’re close with Kirisaki, aren’t you?"
"Yes, I’d say we’re close. Did something happen?"
"She hasn’t turned in her course registration or career survey yet."
"…Is that so?"
I couldn’t help but ask back.
Despite her outward appearance, Kirisaki is surprisingly diligent. She always follows instructions and turns in her assignments on time. I’ve never seen her miss anything.
But hearing the words career survey triggered a memory of when I first met her.
She was quick to give up, accepting things as they were, never expressing her feelings.
…So, she still hasn’t figured out her future.
Thinking back, she did seem troubled recently.
But I can’t seem to pick up her inner thoughts.
...Inner thoughts are the voice of one's emotions—things they want to express, frustrations they want to vent.
Most people have those feelings, and I pick up on them naturally.
But Kirisaki is different. She barely expresses anything.
She’s the type to give up and throw everything away before even trying…
The teacher sighed, furrowing their brow in frustration.
"Exactly. She didn’t turn it in at the end of her first year either. Have you heard anything from her?"
"Sorry, no. She hasn’t said anything to me."
"I see…"
"But I’ll reach out to her. If she submits it by next week, will that be okay?"
"Yeah, that should work."
"Understood."
I bowed to the teacher and left the area.
Immediately, I sent a message to Kirisaki.
But she didn’t read it right away.
I kept checking my phone repeatedly, but no response came.
The growing sense of urgency gnawed at me until—by the time school ended—my phone finally vibrated.
"Can we meet in town?"
That message appeared on my phone.
I quickly gathered my things and left school without delay.
*
After a year and a half, I found myself back in my hometown.
The unchanged scenery didn’t stir any sense of nostalgia.
Too many bitter memories. That’s why I left this place behind.
Without glancing around, I headed straight to the spot where Kirisaki was likely waiting.
There weren’t many places that came to mind. In fact, only one seemed fitting for her.
“…It has to be here.”
A desolate park far from the station.
It was up a small forest path, overgrown and neglected—a place that made it clear why no one visited.
When I arrived, I saw a familiar figure sitting on a swing, gazing at the sky.
She noticed me as I approached, turned to look, and smiled.
“Hey, Ritsu.”
“‘Hey’ isn’t gonna cut it. You’re skipping, aren’t you?”
“Pretty much.”
She said it without a trace of remorse, her tone somehow cheerful.
Her feelings showed in her heart’s voice—a rarity for her. I’m glad you came. It spilled out clearly.
“Just knowing it’s the hometown, how’d you figure I’d be here?”
“Well, places tied to us… it’s either here or cram school.”
“So you went to the cram school first?”
“Nope. You hate crowded places, right? Same for me.”
“Ahaha. Yeah, you’re right. Good guess.”
She laughed, cheerful yet tinged with loneliness.
Seeing her like this reminded me of how she used to be—struggling with her future, unable to decide her path.
I pulled out the paper our teacher had entrusted me with and placed it on her lap.
“Kirisaki, the teacher said you didn’t submit your career survey.”
“Busted, huh? Oh, and I haven’t registered for my courses yet either. Cutting it close, right?”
“That’s not something to brag about. Seriously, if you’re struggling, just tell me. It’s not like we have to hold back from each other.”
“…You’re right about that. Out of everyone at this school, I’ve known you the longest and thought I understood you… but maybe I didn’t know anything at all.”
She tilted her head back to look at the sky, a self-mocking smile on her face.
She didn’t meet my gaze, her eyes fixed upwards the entire time.
“What are we, Ritsu? Friends? Partners? Best friends? Or… something else?”
“What’s with the sudden question?”
“I’ve just been wondering. I’ve always thought of you as someone I can talk to about anything, no matter what. That’s why, Ritsu, there’s one thing I want to make clear.”
“…Yeah?”
"──You’re lying about having a girlfriend, aren’t you?"
"…Huh?"
I was shaken by Kirisaki’s words, and my response caught in my throat.
She must have taken my reaction as confirmation.
With a deep sigh, she puffed out her cheeks and stared straight at me.
Where did she figure it out…? I can’t think of anything that would’ve given me away.
As if answering my unspoken question, she began speaking without bothering to hide her irritation.
"If you look at Rurina’s behavior, it’s obvious."
"Her behavior?"
"Rurina is extremely considerate of others, isn’t she? There’s no way someone like that would stay this close to you if it was just as friends. If she thought you had a girlfriend, she’d distance herself. That’s just how Rurina is."
Kirisaki’s words were spot on.
When Rurina heard the rumor that I had a girlfriend, she made every effort to create some space between us.
She always prioritizes others over herself… Kirisaki must have picked up on that side of her personality while spending time with her.
That’s why she started questioning Rurina’s recent behavior—and eventually reached her conclusion.
"…You could’ve told me, you know? It feels kind of lonely that you didn’t."
"Sorry for lying…"
"It’s fine. It’s not like I’m disappointed or anything. And I get it—you pretended to have a girlfriend because you wanted to keep some boundaries."
"Haha… I can’t argue with that."
"So, are you planning to get a real girlfriend?"
"Not at all. I’m not interested. I’d rather avoid the trouble."
"Then why don’t you push people away if you don’t plan on dating them?"
Her question made my heart race wildly.
Unable to lie, I answered honestly.
"…Because it’s comfortable. The atmosphere around you, Kirisaki…"
I couldn’t hear her thoughts like I could with most people.
That was largely due to her personality, but for me, it was a relief and a blessing.
There were no overlapping voices in my head when I was around her, and the subtle distance between us felt… easy to be in.
But maybe that was just selfish of me.
"I see. So, I’ve become a place where you can feel at ease."
Kirisaki spoke with a hint of happiness in her voice and gave the swing a gentle push, rocking it back and forth slightly.
"Do you remember? The time we first started talking."
"Of course I do. How could I forget?"
"Hehe, I’m glad. This place feels so nostalgic, doesn’t it? It feels like forever ago when we watched the fireworks here."
"Yeah, it really does."
(…I thought I had already let go of these feelings.)
I could hear that quiet voice from her heart.
Kirisaki and I gazed up at the night sky, reminiscing about the past as we began to talk about those days with a sense of longing.
Chapter 4 END
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