Chapter 1: Prologue of Changing Feelings
[Sakura POV]
A Person Who Won't Do as I Wish
"Sakura-chan, you're so amazing; you can do anything!"
"Thank you very much. However, I am still learning, so I strive to improve every day."
I said that with a smile, bowed my head, and left the scene.
Whenever I help out around the house, I always get praised like this.
There was a time when I felt happy about it, but once it became expected, I stopped feeling anything at all.
Since I was young, I had a knack for things. I could act naturally, as easily as breathing.
—How should I move to make people happy?
—What is the right thing to do?
—What are my strengths?
I kept picking up the answers to those questions one after another.
At the same time, I felt a certain distance from those around me.
"Sakura, I hope that one day, you can be a child."
"Um… what do you mean?"
"There's no need to rush into adulthood."
"I'm not rushing or anything."
"Fufu. When a girl falls in love, she changes, you know~."
My mother would say things like this from time to time, but even now, I still don't understand what she means.
It's not that I have no interest in love.
I like talking to people, and I enjoy listening to their stories.
I do have a bit of admiration for the idea of a fateful encounter...
But no matter how many stories I hear from others, they never go beyond what I can imagine.
—If I say this, they'll respond like that.
Since I understand that, everything goes smoothly as long as I act the way people expect me to.
The only downside is… not everyone sees it in a good way.
"She's too perfect… it's annoying."
I still remember those words from long ago.
To me, though, that was just another form of praise.
Admiration, curiosity, jealousy, envy.
The way people look at me is always the same.
After that, all I have to do is make use of their perception, and everything will fall into place, keeping me in a position of advantage.
Thanks to the experiences I've accumulated since childhood, I know exactly how to be well-regarded. I never make mistakes.
"Hinamori-san. I like you. Please go out with me!"
I get confessed to like this often, but I always turn them down with an apologetic smile.
I've never confessed to anyone, nor have I ever fallen in love with someone.
Because—affection is something given to me, not something I give.
It’s always one-sided.
Even if someone persistently confesses, I can easily use my family as an excuse to reject them.
No one in our school is willing to take on the burden of belonging to a strict household like mine. Naturally, none of them are prepared for it.
No one would willingly get involved with someone who comes with such troublesome baggage.
So the moment I bring up my family, they all back off without hesitation.
In the end, their feelings for me were nothing more than fleeting attraction, thinking “Maybe, just maybe…” after seeing my looks.
Spending my days like this, I finally entered high school.
But even now—
"Looks like I’ll have to establish a new position for myself in high school too."
My mindset hasn’t changed, even in a new environment.
I'll just do what I've always done.
Alright… I’ve decided!
Let’s take the first step, starting with the person sitting next to me.
Thinking that, I finished my entrance ceremony.
Meeting my classmates for the first time.
As always, my delicate features seem to be drawing attention.
With the excitement of the new school year, people’s eyes are naturally drawn to the cute girls even more than usual.
Well, it can’t be helped—it’s me, after all.
Now then, who’s the student sitting next to me…?
I glanced over and saw that my neighbor was a boy with a refreshing aura.
Not flashy or overbearing—just a true good guy.
At a glance, he had that "this guy must be popular" vibe.
Fufu… quite the high hurdle for my first challenge.
But no problem.
The thrill of the first day of high school, combined with the excitement of seeing me for the first time… Let’s make those emotions amplify each other.
First, I flash him a warm, gentle smile… With this, he’ll be completely captivated for sure!
"Nice to meet you. Looks like we’re seatmates."
"Yeah, nice to meet you too."
"I apologize for the late introduction. My name is Hinamori Sakura. As your classmate for the next year, I look forward to getting along with you."
"Thanks for the polite introduction. I’m Kaburagi Ritsu. Let’s have a great year together."
"…………"
He smiled slightly—then immediately turned forward.
…Wait, that’s it!? What is this!?
Normally, guys in this situation would get all flustered and stammer something like, "O-o-oh, I-I-I’m K-k-kabyuryaki Riryuchu…!!" right!?
To not even waver when faced with my angelic smile… No, no, that’s impossible!!
This level of indifference… Hmph. I see now.
Could it be… that he’s just shy?
Since I spoke to him in the classroom, maybe he’s feeling self-conscious about the people around us watching?
That has to be it—he’s straining his facial muscles, trying desperately to keep his composure.
I glance sideways at his face.
As expected, the corner of his cheek twitches slightly, as if he’s suppressing some kind of emotion.
…Fufufu, just as planned.
I make a triumphant fist pump in my heart.
That afternoon, after school—
He didn’t leave right away. After chatting with a few classmates, he finally stepped out of the classroom.
As for me, I watched him from behind, carefully assessing the right moment for us to be alone together.
—By the way, here’s the plan.
I’d time it perfectly so that we "accidentally" bump into each other at a corner.
Then, I’d land on my backside, looking all vulnerable.
Naturally, he’d offer me a hand, and once we touch—bam! He’d start becoming aware of me, whether he wants to or not.
A devilish strategy, if I do say so myself.
"Huh…?"
While I was lost in my scheming, I suddenly realized—he was gone.
But then, I heard footsteps descending the stairs. Panicking, I hurried after him.
"Ah—"
Maybe because I was rushing, my foot slipped.
…The staircase seemed to stretch away in slow motion, the sunlight streaming through the windows oddly bright and irritating.
…Ah. I messed up.
I felt my body instinctively brace for the impact.
But—
Instead of crashing into the hard floor, something strong and sturdy caught me.
"Hinamori, are you okay?"
"Fweh…?"
A weird sound slipped from my lips as I found myself securely held in someone’s arms.
His grip was firmer than I expected, his arms steady and reassuring—so much so that I felt like I could just melt into them.
That was the only thought running through my mind as I looked at Kaburagi-san.
The light streaming from behind him made his silhouette glow, like an angel descending from the heavens.
I used to dream about a fateful encounter—such a cliché, girlish fantasy…
But now, my heart was pounding louder than ever before, an almost deafening rhythm in my chest.
—No. No, no, no.
That’s absolutely not it.
I’ve been admired, adored, even pursued—but me? Falling for someone? That’s impossible.
Love is always one-sided. I should never be the one whose heart is moved first.
So—
"I-I haven’t lost yet! If you think this is over, you’re gravely mistaken!"
I pointed a finger at him, boldly declaring my challenge.
"Uh… What exactly are we competing in?"
He set me down, shrugged as if exasperated, and said that with a baffled expression.
Then, seeing me puffing up my cheeks in frustration, he let out an amused chuckle.
"Well then, see you later."
And just like that, he walked away.
"Huh…? No follow-up? No unexpected romantic twist…?"
He didn’t take advantage of the situation. He didn’t ask for anything in return. Not even a hint of ulterior motives.
It was so… effortless. As if it was only natural.
As if he were silently saying, "I’m not interested in you."
"…If I’m the only one flustered, doesn’t that make me look like a complete fool?"
Muttering to myself, a new feeling simmered within me.
It was, undeniably—frustration.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Because he being special? That’s simply not possible.
—As long as I don’t admit defeat, I haven’t truly lost.
From that day on, I continued to challenge him.
Because surely, everything I’ve felt up until now… was nothing more than simple rivalry.
Huh? Am I… the only one falling behind?
"The sunlight is perfect, my smile is dazzling… Fufu. I’m absolutely flawless today, too~"
That morning, I was at school, preparing for my now-routine “Operation: Make Kaburagi-san Flustered.”
Since most students hadn’t arrived yet, there weren’t many people around to run into.
And if anyone did happen to pass by, they certainly wouldn’t suspect me of scouting the area in advance—they’d just be mesmerized, like they were watching a scene from a movie.
Sigh… I really am such a sinful woman… Too cute for my own good.
…Just kidding.
Alright, alright~. There’s still plenty of time before they arrive, so let’s practice my signature move.
Today’s plan: bump into Kaburagi-san, land on my butt… and have him flustered by my embarrassed reaction.
Oh—of course, I’ll be wearing shorts underneath! I’d be embarrassed too, after all!
Yes, yes. Now everything is perfectly set.
No concerns whatsoever! …Or at least, that’s what I’d like to say, but—
"…Something’s been weird lately."
It’s hard to put into words…
Suzune-chan, who seemed down before, is back to her usual self. But now, Kaburagi-san feels… somewhat awkward?
When we’re all together, he looks normal, but… hmm, could it be because of that day?
I had to leave early for student council duties, but thinking back, the change in their dynamic started right after that morning.
There’s a certain distance between them now… like they’re being careful.
—Wait, does that mean…?
Did they start dating behind my back!?!?
Now it all makes sense!
How secretive of them~.
Ah, but Kaburagi-san already has a girlfriend, so… is Suzune-chan his local girlfriend?
Or could it be that he’s just playing around with his actual girlfriend while being serious about Suzune-chan!?
W-W-What should I do!!
I feel like I’ve stumbled upon something I really shouldn’t know…
And if they are dating or something, wouldn’t it be nice if they just told me? I mean, I’d understand if they’re feeling guilty or just too shy to admit it, but still…
Which is it? Ugh, this is so frustrating!!
Even though I’d come to terms with the situation, thinking about their relationship made my heart restless.
A tight, uncomfortable squeeze in my chest. A strange mix of unease and irritation.
(T/N: This is a harem now, huh?)
…Is this because they won’t just tell me?
To shake off this unfamiliar wave of emotions, I lightly slapped my cheeks.
Alright! First, I need to gather solid proof that they’re dating, make them confess… and then tease them relentlessly!
If I can make Kaburagi-san flustered, that’s practically a win—so my heart should definitely settle down after that!
Thinking that, I suddenly heard familiar voices approaching, accompanied by the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs.
"…You sound kinda awkward, though?"
"Kiri… Suzune… Look, give me a break. I’m not used to it yet."
"Ehh, you’re totally gonna mess it up again."
"Long-time habits don’t change that easily."
"Aww, you’re blushing! So cute~! Maybe if you keep saying it over and over, you’ll get used to it?"
"…Shut up. Stop teasing me."
"Ahaha!"
Their usual playful banter.
But something about it felt… off.
…He’s really calling her Suzune now, huh…?
Recently, Kaburagi-san started using Suzune-chan’s first name.
I figured it made sense with Kurusu-san since she practically latched onto him, but Suzune-chan? That’s different.
For a guy like him to suddenly change how he addresses a longtime friend? That only happens when something about the relationship itself changes.
Kaburagi-san isn’t exactly the type to close the distance with people easily…
Alright, let’s see what else I can overhear.
I sharpened my ears, listening in on their conversation.
"Alright, alright… Suzune."
"Wow, seeing you flustered is adorable, Ritsu."
"…Says the one blushing. You’re just trying to cover it up by being the one teasing, aren’t you?"
"N-No, I’m not!"
"Yeah, sure. You know if Hinamori saw this, she’d never let you live it down, right?"
"It’s not like… I’d be happy just because you called my name or anything."
"Oh? You just said that out loud, you know?"
"…Whatever. I don’t care if Sakura hears it. It’s not something to be embarrassed about."
Before they reached the top of the stairs, I hurriedly slipped into an empty classroom.
—Okay, newlyweds much!?!?
What is with this fresh, lovey-dovey atmosphere…?
They totally reek of couple vibes!
And to top it off, they don’t even mind if I see them like this!?!?
I definitely can’t barge in on this now!!
"…So, Ritsu, are you free during Golden Week?"
"Well, I do have some things to do…"
"Hmmm. Then let’s study together."
"Didn’t you just hear me say I had things to do?"
"Oh, come on. Let me guess—your plans involve studying, helping teachers, or doing volunteer cleaning at school, right?"
"W-Well…"
Oh? Judging by that reaction, Kaburagi-san totally got caught off guard, huh?
He’s all flustered—it’s kinda hilarious.
Pfft. How pathetic… Wait a second.
Doesn’t this make me the lowest one in the hierarchy here, since I’m the only one getting toyed with!?
Where’s all that composure he always shows me, huh!?!?
"Then, should we just study at school?" [Ritsu]
"Hmm. How about somewhere we can relax more?" [Suzune]
"…An empty classroom on a holiday is plenty quiet and relaxing." [Ritsu]
"I guess. But don’t you think a little change of pace would be nice?" [Suzune]
"I’d rather avoid cafés, though." [Ritsu]
"Well, yeah, cafés are crowded. But I actually have a much better place in mind." [Suzune]
"…Rejected." [Ritsu]
"Hey, I didn’t even say where yet!" [Suzune]
"You were gonna say your house, weren’t you?" [Ritsu]
"Yeah, so? What, is your room a mess or something?" [Suzune]
"…Something like that." [Ritsu]
"Ohh, I’m actually pretty good at cleaning, so leave it to me!" [Suzune]
"…It’s not just messy, it’s the kind of mess I’d rather not have anyone see." [Ritsu]
"Pfft, I don’t judge." [Suzune]
Wow, Suzune-chan is bold.
That aside… Kaburagi-san really doesn’t want to let her into his house, huh?
Could it be… his room holds some kind of secret weakness!?
Now I’m curious too!
"Even if you don’t want to let me in, think of it as making up for what you did to me before."
"…That’s…"
"Aww, how cruel of you~! I was practically in tears, you know? It was so painful~."
"Cut it out. Someone might hear you…"
"Ahaha! Don’t worry, there aren’t that many people around at this hour."
"It looks that way, but…"
I’m right here, you know…
Wait.
Am I even supposed to be hearing this…?
"Made her cry"? "Painful"!?
W-W-Wait a second—
Are they talking about… that kind of thing!?
My face burns, and I desperately fan myself with my hands.
"Alright, so we’re hanging out a bit during Golden Week. That’s settled."
"Got it. I’ll make time."
"Fufu. Then it’s a plan."
Their voices fade along with their footsteps as they walk away.
They’re probably walking away now.
Once their voices faded completely, I finally stepped out of the classroom.
"Phew… They’re gone."
I let out a quiet sigh of relief, thankful I hadn’t been caught.
…Wait.
Wasn’t I supposed to be making Kaburagi-san flustered!?!?
This was the perfect setup! A prime opportunity! And I just let it slip away!?
My shoulders slumped, and I let out a long, dramatic sigh.
"Oh well. I’ll just have to try again next time. Can’t afford to get discouraged over something like this!"
They're probably moving away from here.
After I could no longer hear the two voices, I left the classroom.
“Phew... That somehow worked out.”
I gently patted my chest in relief that I hadn’t been found.
Wait, didn’t I completely forget my original goal!?!?
It was the perfect opportunity, too—what a waste!
I slumped my shoulders and let out a heavy sigh.
“Well, let’s do our best next time. Giving up over something like this won’t get us anywhere.”
【Cheer up】
“Heh, thanks for the encouragement. Kurusu-san, your handwriting is as beautiful as ever.”
【Saving this as a template】
“I see, always prepared. Was this perhaps Kaburagi-san’s idea?”
【Thanks to Ritsu】
“I knew it… Wait, Kurusu-san, why are you even here!?”
As I stared at her in shock, Kurusu-san tilted her head in curiosity.
Then, with an unreadable expression, she wrote on her tablet:
【I’ve been here from the start】
No way… Since when!?
She was standing right beside me so naturally that I was completely caught off guard…
I even jumped in surprise… Wait, she’s been here from the very beginning!?
“T-Then, you saw everything…?”
【Perfectly】
“Nooo… my dignity…”
【Watching over them to make sure they didn’t fight—so responsible】
“H-Huh?”
【Was I wrong?】
“N-No! That’s right! I’m the Friendly Master, after all! Watching over everyone and ensuring harmony is my job!! It’s all part of my student council duties!!”
As I blurted out my blatant lie, Kurusu-san’s eyes sparkled, and she clapped her hands together.
【As expected of our student representative. So admirable】
D-Don’t look at me with such pure eyes…!
Ugh… The weight of that respect is suffocating.
Honestly, I’d rather she just called me out on it instead.
If I can’t back out of this, it’s basically a living hell…
A-Anyway, let’s change the subject.
At this rate, my soul is going to be crushed.
“Um, so… Kurusu-san, what are you doing here so early in the morning?”
【Cleaning. One good deed a day is a must】
“Oh, I see. That’s admirable. So, were you in this classroom for cleaning as well?”
【I sensed someone, so I hid.】
“Are you an animal or something…?”
【Hinamori-san too? Same reason?】
“No, I just missed my timing… But Kurusu-san, you didn’t really need to hide, did you?”
【No. It would have been bad to interrupt. Good atmosphere.】
“I see…”
As I murmured that, Kurusu-san showed me an awkward smile.
She was probably trying her best to smile, but it looked more like a strained grimace.
Now that we’re in the same class, I’ve realized just how much she holds back.
She probably wanted to talk to them but sensed something and decided to step back.
Still, the fact that her reason for stepping back was “because it was a good atmosphere and interrupting would be bad” suggests she doesn’t actually know whether they’re dating or not…
As I was thinking that, Kurusu-san lightly tapped my shoulder and showed me her tablet.
【I want to ask for advice.】
“You want to consult with me?”
【Requesting guidance from the Love & Friendly Master.】
“…Haha. You know me well! You can count on me, ask me anything.”
【What is ‘love’?】
“…Suzuki?”
【Not the fish. I mean falling in love with someone.】
She brushed off my joke effortlessly and hugged her tablet to her chest, staring at me intently.
Her gaze was so serious it was almost overwhelming.
Ahh, what do I do?
I acted all confident, but I don’t really understand love either.
I never needed to play any “love games” because people just fell for me when I talked to them.
…Well, there was an exception.
Alright, I need to say something cool here—
“Well… There’s no clear answer, but you start to see it when you’re together with someone. So, why not try spending time with the person you’re curious about?”
【How should I spend time with them?】
“W-Well… For example… getting a little physically close?”
【I see.】
“A-Anyway! If your emotions waver, or if you find yourself thinking about that person all the time, that’s love! The only way to know for sure is to take action!”
Kurusu-san nodded several times at my words before writing on her tablet:
【Thank you. I’ll try right away.】
And with a small bow, she quickly left.
She’s probably heading toward Kaburagi-san.
Seriously, she’s so diligent and hardworking.
But…
“Haaah… I sure said some high-and-mighty things… But I feel like I just set off something big… This won’t cause any trouble because of me, right…?”
Ahh, Kaburagi-san.
Just what kind of top-tier flag builder are you?
You’re way too kind even though you already have someone, and now look what’s happened!
Whatever happens, it’s not my problem… Well, if Kurusu-san does something weird, it might actually be my fault…
“Why does Kaburagi-san always have to act so ideally…?”
I muttered to myself and let out a heavy sigh.
I really can’t read his actions at all.
Even if I try to outmaneuver him, he always sees through it…
Well, that doesn’t mean I’m giving up.
The harder the challenge, the greater the satisfaction when I finally conquer it.
Alright then! As usual, I’ll keep working to make him fall for me!
Falling for someone first, like everyone else? That is absolutely not an option for me.
[Ritsu POV]
If only I could understand my own feelings...
"…I can't focus."
I shut the open reference book and flopped onto my bed.
Lying on my back, I used my arm as a pillow and stared blankly at the ceiling.
A deep sigh escaped my lips.
"Not being able to switch gears… how pathetic."
I muttered those words and sighed again.
I couldn’t concentrate on studying, and even when I tried reading to clear my mind, not a single word stuck.
Since coming home from school, I’d been stuck in this cycle. Before I knew it, it was almost midnight.
—Just like Ritsu did for me, this time, I'll be the one to fill the empty spaces in your heart.
No matter the situation, her voice—her heart—always surfaced in my mind.
She never actually confessed out loud, but I knew. The heart doesn’t lie. There was no way I could be unaware of the feelings directed at me.
"Hearing something that clearly… How am I supposed to face her now?"
Her honesty made me happy. It was flattering, even.
But feelings can easily turn into resentment, and they can also destroy relationships.
Especially when admiration turns into disappointment—the fall is steep. Sometimes, it’s beyond repair.
Having seen that kind of shift before, I wanted to live my life free from unnecessary drama.
I thought I could just maintain my defenses and sidestep any complications. I regret ever thinking it would be that easy.
…Seriously, I can't sort out my thoughts.
Do I just act normal, like before?
Or do I put some distance between us?
Both options seem terrible…
Since I can't figure it out, I’m probably acting awkward without realizing it.
Rurina must have noticed something off—she's been walking on eggshells around me.
At least Matsui… No, at least Hinamori is acting normal, which is a relief.
Trying to clear my mind, I gazed out the window.
The rustling of leaves in the wind sounded strangely grating to my ears, making my irritation all the more apparent. I let out another sigh.
"Hey, idiot little brother! Your great and mighty sister demands a midnight snack!"
Just as I heard that voice, my door burst open.
Saya strolled in, dressed in an outfit much sloppier and more casual than what she wore at school.
"…Make it yourself for once. If you can't cook, no one's going to want to marry you."
"Oh? Did you just say something?"
"Ugh… Get off me, seriously. You're way too heavy… My insides are gonna pop out."
Saya had thrown herself onto me, straddling me like she was asserting dominance.
Depending on how you looked at it, the scene might resemble something intimate between a man and a woman… but in reality, there was absolutely nothing romantic about it.
Her eyes gleamed dangerously, completely devoid of any seductive intent.
If I had to describe the situation accurately, it was more like a predator towering over its prey.
And in this case, I was definitely the one about to be devoured.
"Listen up, Ritsu. You should never call a woman heavy. Besides, I'm on the lighter side—though… I might’ve overdone it with food yesterday, so I’m kinda in trouble…"
"Oi… Your thoughts are leaking out. Stop trying to save face."
"Idiot. If you lose in spirit, it’s over."
"That’s basically admitting you gained weight. If you act too tough, no one's gonna want to be around you."
"Oh? (Die.)"
"Your face is terrifying! And your thoughts are just straight-up violent!"
Saya shot me a glare, her voice low and menacing.
She looked like a wild beast, ready to pounce and sink her teeth into me at any moment.
"Anyway, Saya, I get it. I was wrong, so just get off me already…"
I grumbled, trying to push her off, but she let out an exaggerated sigh.
"Not happening."
"What do you mean, 'not happening'? Why are you tilting your head like I just said something weird?"
"Well, you see. I’m not moving until you spill whatever’s on your mind."
"What am I, a criminal under interrogation? Seriously… What do you even want me to say?"
"Hah. Even an idiot could tell something's up when their little brother is walking around looking all gloomy. Just spill it already."
Suddenly, her expression softened. She shrugged her shoulders, but I could tell—she wasn’t going to let me go until I talked.
I could practically hear her saying, You're not escaping until you spill everything. Her determination was crystal clear.
Seeing her like this, I let out a small chuckle.
"I didn’t think I was showing it that much."
"If you really believe that, your acting skills need some serious work. No matter how good you think you are at playing it cool, the cracks always show."
"…Yeah, I guess you're right about that."
"Well, I can pretty much guess what it’s about. No matter the time or place, human relationships are always the biggest headache."
"It's not really something I'm worried about. I'm just considering the appropriate response. This much is no problem."
"Haaah. Seriously… Stubborn people are such a hassle."
Say whatever you want…
I ignored her and tried to slip away.
However, as expected, there was no way I could escape, and my sister's grip only tightened further.
"Well, I don't really care about your policies or beliefs. Not like you'd tell me anything even if I pressed you on it."
"If you understand that, I'd really appreciate it if you'd move aside."
"Which is why, as your life-experienced older sister, I'll graciously bestow my wisdom upon you."
Saya said that with a smug look, puffing out her chest.
Even when I shot her a discontented glare, she showed no sign of caring.
"To begin with, it's impossible to interact with people while keeping up a wall. You go around helping others one-sidedly, and there's no way they won't fall for you. Like, say… Kirisaki, for example?"
"……"
"If you're staying silent, I'll take that as a yes."
"…No, I'm just too dumbfounded to say anything. Seriously, once you reach Saya's level, does your imagination get that wild?"
"Just be honest. If you do, I'll overlook your previous words and let you off with just a little corporal punishment."
"I don't think 'corporal punishment' is the right way to put it."
"Speaking with fists is the way of the world."
"This isn't a country of battle-hardened warriors. Stop making stuff up."
When I dismissed her like that, my sister stared straight at me.
She didn't avert her gaze, just kept looking, as if she was completely sure of herself.
…This is why I'm bad at dealing with her.
It feels like she's treating me like a kid…
I let out a deep sigh and raised my hands in a gesture of surrender.
"…Haah. This is why I can't stand you, Saya."
"Ritsu, I've got years of experience on you. Even if I could hear your inner thoughts, there's no way a high schooler could beat me."
"Stop treating me like a kid."
"Haha. My bad, my bad."
As my sister laughed lightheartedly, another sigh escaped my lips.
This is exactly what makes her so troublesome.
She barges into my heart without hesitation, prying it open by force.
There's no way she could have heard anything, yet she sees right through me so easily.
My sister placed her hand on my head and roughly ruffled my hair.
"Listen, Ritsu. From now on, don’t run away."
Don’t run away. Those words pricked at my chest.
The accuracy of her remark sent my heart into turmoil.
She must have sensed the shift in my emotions.
Before I knew it, the rough ruffling of my hair had turned into something gentle.
"…Ritsu. No matter how much you try to build a wall around your feelings, what’s meaningless is still meaningless. In the face of someone with a stronger will, those walls won’t hold. Young people should struggle in their own way and enjoy themselves. Don’t waste time overthinking things."
"Wasting time, huh…"
"And you know, the more secretive and distant someone seems, the more others tend to notice them. You’re just too oblivious. You can hear what others are saying, but you don’t see yourself clearly."
"Oblivious? That’s not really—"
"No, no~. You’re plenty oblivious. That’s why I’ll spell it out for you so you understand."
"……"
"Don't disregard people's efforts or feelings. Even if they never put them into words."
At those words, I recalled Suzune from that day.
Her tense face, the strength in her gaze.
She acted defiant, but I think she was trembling slightly.
…Yeah. That makes sense.
"I’m sure it was 'a fear beyond imagination.' She was probably terrified of how you’d react, feeling like the pressure might crush her at any moment. And yet, she still chose to move forward. Taking a step beyond friendship takes resolve and courage."
"Yeah… you’re right."
"But that doesn't mean I’m telling you to date her or to fall for her just because of that. Being with someone you don’t actually like—that would be the real dishonesty."
"…Yeah."
"Don't take the easy way out. Waiting for the other person to back off—that’s just running away."
I had thought that if I put up my defenses, no one would get hurt, and unnecessary trouble could be avoided.
But in the end… that was just an excuse.
It was nothing more than leaving the decision to someone else for my own convenience.
Thinking about it like that… I really am the worst.
"Struggle properly and give it your all, young man. Well, this is the advice of your ever-single older sister."
Her words should have lost all credibility at that point, and yet… for some reason, they sank right in.
She really is a good sister.
As I was lost in thought, Saya suddenly clapped her hands as if remembering something and said, "Ah, right," creating an ominous pause.
"You probably already know this, but once a girl’s love starts overflowing, she won’t back down."
"Is that so?"
"The power is incredible. It’s like a river that won’t stop once it starts flowing."
"……"
"So, playing some stubborn waiting game is pointless. Just give in already."
"Are you sure that’s okay?"
"And don’t just keep pretending, acting, and shutting yourself away forever… It’s lonely as family when you never rely on us, you know?"
When I muttered, "Sorry," she looked a little sad but then gave my shoulders a few firm pats, as if to shake off the mood.
After that, she stood up, let out a big yawn, and turned toward the door.
"Hang in there, Ritsu. (I hope you’ll meet someone real who truly sees you someday.)"
"…Thanks."
My sister waved a hand in response to my words and walked out of the room.
"…Haha. What about your late-night snack?"
Feeling embarrassed by her concern, I couldn’t help but laugh.
I collapsed onto my bed again, reaching out as if to block the glow of the ceiling light.
"…If I could hear my own heart, would I finally see the answer?"
My quiet murmur echoed through the now silent room, fading into the stillness.
[Suzune POV]
An unfamiliar feeling
"What can I even do for Ritsu?"
──During P.E. class.
I sat on the bench, watching my classmates play tennis, while thoughts like that ran through my head over and over again.
…He’s always giving it his all. Seriously.
Rurina ran to hit the ball, and Kurumi returned it.
Neither of them were in the tennis club, but even to an amateur like me, they looked pretty skilled.
The rally continued, and Kurumi, full of energy, called out, “I’m going all in~!” clearly enjoying herself.
In contrast, Rurina played effortlessly, her face calm and composed, occasionally lifting the corners of her mouth ever so slightly.
If someone didn’t know her well, they might mistake her expression for mockery.
“Ku-chan, you’re making this look easy! In that case, I can’t lose either!”
Kurumi’s innocent remark made Rurina nod several times, as if to say, “Me too.”
She didn’t exactly smile, but since Kurumi didn’t seem to mind, I guess it wasn’t a problem.
They look like they’re having so much fun… I’m kind of jealous.
As I was thinking that, Sakura approached and sat beside me, wearing her usual charming smile.
“They’re really getting into it, aren’t they?”
“Yeah, they are.”
“Um, Suzune-chan, aren’t you going to play? If you don’t have a partner, I’d be happy to join you.”
“It’s free time right now, so I’ll pass.”
“Aww~ come on, let’s play~”
“I don’t have that much stamina, and if I exercise too much, I’ll be too sleepy for the afternoon classes. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Hm~… in that case, I’ll just watch too.”
After saying that, Sakura glanced at me from the side.
Her body language… it was like she was waiting for the right moment.
Does she think I won’t notice her staring?
She’s not as obvious as she is around Ritsu, but when she’s around people she trusts, Sakura is ridiculously easy to read.
To the point where I actually get a little worried for her.
I kept my gaze forward and spoke up.
“So? You came over because you had something to say, right?”
“Eh…? N-No! That’s not it at all~”
“…Sigh. At least put a little more effort into covering it up. Your tone’s all weird.”
“Aha… haha…”
Sakura let out a vague laugh, then cleared her throat awkwardly as if trying to change the subject.
And just like that, she put on a gentle smile, as if nothing had happened.
As always, her ability to switch gears is impressive.
…Or maybe it's just that she has a thick skin.
“Umm. Have you had any good things happen to you lately, Suzune-chan?”
“Good things? Not really. Do I seem like I’m in a particularly good mood?”
“N-No, it’s just… I feel like you’ve changed a bit. Like your vibe has softened.”
“Well, yeah. My feelings might have changed.”
“I knew it! So the reason is… maybe you got good test results? Or perhaps… you found yourself a lover?”
“A lover? Ah, so that’s what you mean.”
I nodded at Sakura’s question and looked up at the sky.
She’s confident in her guess. Sakura notices everything… so of course, she’d pick up on it.
I let out a sigh and glanced at her from the side.
“Hehe. You see, I have quite a bit of life experience. If you’re ever troubled, I’ll be more than happy to help! No matter what kind of problem it is, I’ll find a solution for you.”
“That’s… a lot of confidence. But honestly, if it’s you, I kind of believe it.”
“Leave it to me! When it comes to counseling and advice, I’m the best there is.”
Sakura flashed a dazzling smile—one so captivating that even other girls would find themselves mesmerized.
…If only I could smile like that.
Sigh… If someone asked me whether I had any worries, I’d answer without a doubt, yes, and I’d say it loud and clear.
For the past year, my only concern has been Ritsu…
Even after what happened recently, I can’t say the problem has been solved.
It’s true that I feel like we’ve gotten closer than before.
But at the same time, there’s this subtle awkwardness between us now.
Maybe Ritsu thinks he’s acting the same as always, but to me, it feels like he’s hesitating in how he responds.
He’s so used to putting up walls that this sudden change is throwing him off.
I understand that feeling all too well… because I went through the same thing.
And after everything that happened yesterday, even I don’t know what to do now.
Of course, there’s going to be some awkwardness when we’re both this unsure.
I try to keep things normal by teasing him, but then I get hit with this weird nervousness.
Just being around him makes my heart race more than before, and… I have no idea what to do.
I told myself I’d make my feelings clear, but… what does that even mean? How am I supposed to “appeal” to him?
...Huh? Now that I think about it, isn't Sakura the perfect person for this?
I'll take her up on her offer and consult a reliable friend... maybe.
"Alright... I'll talk to Sakura about it, okay?"
"Ohh! By all means! Leave it to me!"
"...Why do you look so happy?"
"Suzune-chan, you're just like Kaburagi-san—you never talk about yourself! So, I'm just a little happy~"
Sakura said that, her cheeks relaxing with delight.
...This is kind of embarrassing.
I cleared my throat, glanced around to check my surroundings, and then leaned in to whisper to Sakura,
"...How do you think I can catch his attention?"
"Suzune-chan, could it be that you're trying to get Kabu—um, a man's attention...?"
"...Yeah... but. You're smirking, aren't you?"
"Not at all~. It's just, I've never seen you make such a maiden-like face before."
"I can't help it... I have no experience."
Crap... My face is burning up.
I fanned my face with my hand.
"Oh, just to confirm. You're not looking for advice from a guy's perspective...?"
"Ah—um... I can't really ask this time."
"...I thought so."
"What's wrong?"
"No, no! It's nothing at all!"
"...Really?"
"I'm a romance expert, you know! In other words, a woman of many loves!"
"At this age, isn't that a bit too soon...? Well, maybe my perception is off? I've never really been interested in this stuff before."
"Y-Yeah, something like that! It's only natural that you wouldn't know!"
I've been trying not to think about my feelings for Ritsu, and my first love was Ritsu, too...
Since I've always avoided talking about romance, I might be out of touch with general perspectives.
I don't really know... but for now, I should listen to different opinions and keep my mind open.
"Alright, let's get started. To handle men well, it's crucial to understand their nature."
"...Huh?"
"Most guys are simple creatures. They get drawn in by the smallest gestures from a girl. If a cute girl walks by, their eyes immediately follow her..."
"Uhh... um..."
"So, to guide their gaze, you need to be aware of your own charms. If you don't know your own strong points, you can't compete."
"It's not like I'm trying to compete, though..."
"Love is a battle, you know?"
"Don't say it like it's 'obvious,' okay?"
Huh? What? Could it be that I'm the weird one here...?
"Listen, Suzune-chan. No matter how cute you are, you must never neglect self-improvement! You shouldn't be passive—you need to take the offensive!"
"Th-The offensive...?"
"That's right!"
She spoke with a hint of excitement and flashed a sly grin.
"Got it... I'll at least try to make myself stand out..."
"I'm cheering for you~"
"But... do you think it'll work out...?"
"You'll be fine, Suzune-chan! Besides, this is the time to give it your all!"
"...Yeah."
"The beginning of a relationship is crucial. There will always be times when things get stagnant, so think of this as a trial to strengthen your bond. If things go well, your connection will deepen even more~"
"I see, a trial, huh... Wait, hold on a second."
"Is something wrong?"
"I think you're misunderstanding something, but I'm not dating anyone."
"Eh... Seriously!?!?"
"Hey, keep your voice down!"
I hurriedly covered Sakura's mouth.
I have no idea why she jumped to that conclusion, but her wide eyes blinked in surprise.
"...Sorry. But are you really serious?"
"I'm really serious. I've never dated anyone before."
"T-Then, if you're not dating... is it some kind of secret relationship you can't talk about?"
"N-No, it's not!"
"Shhh! Now you're the one being loud, Suzune-chan~"
"Oh, sorry."
Some classmates turned to look at us, reacting to my voice.
I quickly gestured that it was nothing and sat back down on the bench.
"Anyway, I'm not in a relationship... I mean, I hope to be someday, but not yet."
"I see. So then... no dramatic love triangles or anything?"
"Love triangles? Ah... yeah. No, nothing like that."
Judging from Sakura's reaction, she probably already figured out I was talking about Ritsu...
But Ritsu told that lie about 'having a girlfriend,' so I guess my response is going to be awkward no matter what.
Well... I can't be the one to expose Ritsu's lie, so I have to be careful.
When I glanced at Sakura, she had a complicated expression on her face and murmured,
"To keep your feelings hidden... and not even consider stealing him away..."
Sakura murmured, seemingly lost in thought about something entirely different.
But then, she quickly noticed my gaze, adjusted her expression, and gave me a smile.
"I'll teach you everything, Suzune-chan."
"...Thanks."
"Not at all. Now then, let's see~"
Her ability to switch gears so fast is impressive.
She must have realized it wouldn’t be good to dig too deep, so she dropped the subject.
After pretending to think for a moment, Sakura clapped her hands together.
"If the way you've been approaching things hasn't been effective, why not try a different method?"
"A different method... I wouldn’t even know where to start."
"It's simple. Suzune-chan, you're more on the cool side, so I think acting a little more affectionate could be really effective. Even just showing a bit of vulnerability would work."
"Affectionate...? Vulnerable...?"
"Yes! In other words, gap moe! Suzune-chan, for better or worse, you come across as strong-willed, so this kind of approach should work really well."
"I understand what a ‘gap’ is... but what exactly am I supposed to do?"
"For example, when you're together, you could say, 'I'm so tired~' and cling to his arm."
"Eh...?"
"Or you could look up at him with puppy eyes... Oh, and make sure to include some light touches! Then, once he notices your gaze, you quickly look away and put on a sad expression."
"......"
"A melancholic demeanor is enough to shake him up—wait, say something, will you!?"
"...Sakura, you're amazing. I could never come up with psychological tactics like that."
"W-Well, I do have a wealth of knowledge! So, Suzune-chan, do you think you can pull it off??"
"Hmm..."
I've only ever talked to Ritsu in a casual, playful way, so I can't even picture it. But she’s gone through the trouble of teaching me, so...
Umm... Me, acting affectionate toward Ritsu...?
I tried to picture myself doing what Sakura described.
The moment I did, my body felt like it was burning up—almost as if I had a fever.
"Just thinking about it is embarrassing..."
"Oh my, your face is bright red."
"Shut up."
"Well, well. But in the end, what matters most is—what do you want to do for him?"
"What I want to do for him..."
"Yes. Do you have anything in mind?"
Her gentle question settled into my heart like a soft drop of rain.
Maybe it's presumptuous of me, but... I want to fill the empty space in Ritsu’s heart.
If he has wounds, I want to heal them.
It won’t be easy, but even if it's little by little, I want to stay by his side...
I see. That’s enough.
The moment my thoughts came together, I felt a weight lift from my chest.
Sakura watched me with a smile.
"Looks like you’ve found your answer?"
"Yeah... I think so. Thanks, Sakura."
"Not at all~"
"But, you know... I was wondering—Sakura, have you ever fallen for someone?"
"One hundred million percent, no~. I only get confessed to. There's no way I'd fall for someone myself."
"Ahaha! That’s so like you."
I clapped lightly, and Sakura puffed out her chest with a triumphant expression.
Her confidence is a little enviable...
But after talking to her, I felt like I'd absorbed some of her energy.
There’s no point in hesitating. I just have to give it my all.
I’ll stay true to myself. Because I want to be someone who understands him...
Even if it’s embarrassing, I’ll move forward.
I’ll act like my brakes are broken—no stopping now.
Alright. Let’s do this.
I steeled my resolve in my heart.
Chapter 1 END
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